Tornado

If I had to contemplate how it all began I don't think I could possibly find the starting point nor even imagine the likelihood of there being an end, even though it seems an eventuality. It started with the usual caution and ‘beware the dog’ signs. Everyone who was anyone to me cautioned me against being brash and ‘acting out’. The lectures turned into seminars but the advice was all the same - boys are out for one thing and one thing only so be careful where you rest your heart.

Heeding the advice of others, however, when you are faced with a world so unlike anything you ever imagined is difficult. He stepped in like a gale wind and soon I found myself bowled over by the sheer force of him. Lost in the tornado my entire universe ended up spinning out of control and boy did I like the exhilaration.

If I had to sit down and count all the things that have come to light through this engagement of sorts I'd probably be sitting up all night. Yet, when first I asked myself, ‘why am I so smitten by it all?’ a few things did come to mind.

Firstly I never knew I was a humorous person. Seriously! Yes I have an exceptionally dirty mind, but there are only a select few who are privy to that sort of humour. I'm talking about honest-to-god, clean simple humour. It amazes me how much I can make him laugh without even trying. It is like all these really funny, cool thoughts just come striding into my consciousness whenever we are together. Or maybe he thinks they are funny even though they aren’t… or maybe he is laughing at me… or maybe he is trying to humour me by making me feel as though I'm capable of making others laugh!!! Oh no, there goes my complicated thought process again. Well regardless of what it is, he laughs – even at the perverted jokes, which is an instant +20 in my books.

Secondly, all these emotions manifest in his incredible childlike ease. It amazes me how simple and childish he can be all the while projecting a strong and mature front. His intolerable habit of rebelling every time he hears the word “no” or “don't” is a constant source of amusement. It is all summed up by the glint in his eyes followed by that terribly mischievous smile that crosses his face as he stretches out his hand to press the ominous red button clearly labelled “DO NOT TOUCH”. The more he is denied, the more he has to try it and the more annoying he becomes. Yet all of that amounts to me just falling more and more for him.

Thirdly he is a nerd of note. Reads the news, follows all these tech savvy websites and blogs and is constantly bombarding my daily life with all sorts of computer and programming jargon that sometimes I wonder if I am more in tune with the ways of technology than with a stethoscope. Worst of all I enjoy every minute of it. The pursuit of knowledge is an unquenchable thirst that he feeds with a litre of water every time we speak. I have learnt so much and I find it so incredibly (for want of a better word) hot that he is intelligent that I actually get weak around the knees. Terribly childish I know, but intelligence is just so…. well you can do that math on that one.

I find myself spiralling out of control as I let each gust of wind push me closer and closer to the edge. I am incapable of walking through it and as I let the wind tip me over the edge I can't help but hear all the warnings echo around me. So what if they are true? I can’t help but fall in love even though I know it is a bad idea. If all he wants is one thing, I'll just be another fool. Yet how can I know his true intentions without giving in to the emotions? 

And so I am lifted off my feet, like Dorothy's home, tossing about in this tornado unsure if I will emerge unscathed. It is a risk I fear I am willing to take.