Thursday 30 May 2013

Graceless Hearts

 Perfectly balanced on the tips of her toes, a ballerina represents all things beautiful and graceful. Every step, every artful arc created by her body is an epitome of grace. Years of practice and decades of experience create the perfect flowing form.

This ease of grace so easily seen by many an ignorant bystander far from reflects the person that resides within. Grace and poise are expected of a woman. She must exhibit these qualities on a daily basis irrespective of the wars and struggles being fought within her aching soul. For it is simple: love, hope, expectations and life in general bring nothing more than pain, despair, disappointment and heart ache.

These conflicts mar the soul, the person in their entirety. Eventually maintaining the socially expected standard of grace becomes hard to achieve. Yet it is required. This persona we project is the only constant within a world falling apart. Pretending we are okay becomes a must. We focus our energy and emotion into appearing normal and well, while inside the cardiac muscle that makes up our heart slowly begins to atrophy.

Inside words such as ‘grace’, ‘normal’ and ‘happy’ don’t exist. Your heart betrays the façade you have put up. It destroys all you are trying to build up. It knows not the concept of grace and beauty but turns into an ugly and decaying beast that will stop at nothing short of tearing you apart. The harder you try to keep your issues inside, to hide your dark and terrible thoughts from the rest of the world, the more likely you are to strengthen the beast that is your heart.

It feeds off the negativity building up inside of you. It eats away at everything you are trying to build up. Every attempt to become stronger, harder and to just simply find a way to move on is ruined by the graceless heart residing innocently within your thoracic cavity. Without a second thought it foils all attempts to make the façade a reality. It is a spiteful being that represents everyone and everything that put you in this situation.

Eventually the only option left is to carve out the mutated heart and opt for a heart transplant. There is no way of overcoming the monster once it has built its strength up on your many failures. It is easier and simpler to cut your losses and find something else to replace the heart that has done nothing more than cause you pain.

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