Saturday 19 October 2013

Outreach

I think  I have over stepped , reached too far and expected too much.  That's the problem  when  we step out of our comfort zones and try and reach for the stars so far away. 

Everybody deserves the best for them and this of course differs between person to person and on the situation.  There is rarely a time when two people will find themselves deserving of the same thing.  I don't say that some people deserve better than others, I'm simply stating that every person has a different standard and should reach out for it.

We set the bar for our expectations and hopes either too high or too low.  We usually opt for the latter when we are afraid that we might not get what we deserve and by doing such we are more likely to find something.  The problem with this type  of thinking however is that we vastly underestimate what we are worthy of and find ourselves constantly hurt by the choices we make.  We settle for far less than we should and that serves to achieve nothing.

In other situations we find ourselves setting the bar just way too high.  We want too much and have so many requirements and standards that finding a person or situation that meets all of them becomes impossible.  Instead we find ourselves constantly turning down  opportunity after opportunity simply because we believe that we are more deserving.  In the end we find ourselves realising that the list was far too unrealistic to start with.  If you are lucky the realisation comes early enough to make amends and search anew.  However for the vast majority of people out there, this only occurs when we have spent the vast majority of our lives and time searching for the fulfillment of our requirements.  By the time we realise we had expected too much we have neither the time nor the energy to go out and try again.

It is imperative to set a standard that is compatible with the person and situation you are in.  You can't go out expecting a diamond when you are still being refined.  Like minded people are automatically attracted to each other and you can't expect someone completely out of the box to step into your radar.  While this isn't impossible, it is a realistic way of approaching the situation.  Some may say the person is out of your league.  I beg to differ as no one person is better than another as the statement suggests. Instead, they are not compatible or they just don't match up with what you are deserving of.

Again, we all deserve what is best for us but to determine what the best is we have to understand who we are and what agrees and brings out the best in us. Because while the person may match you impeccably on paper, if they fail at making you better or bringing out the positivity in you, you are safer reaching out for the outlier who is so different from the general standard that he doesn't belong there at all.

Realising your worth, and realising what you are worthy of is an important stepping stone in building up our esteem. Many a time we underestimate our worth despite so many people seeing otherwise.  Sometimes the only way we can truly see it is by listening to how others see us and above all believing it to be true.

See your worth, set the standard and don't go out reaching for the fanciest star in the sky.  Those are the ones most likely to burn you.

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