Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Speaking and Thinking

Speaking without thinking and thinking without speaking are two major problems recently surfaced in my life. It took me a while to realise exactly why I always find myself in complex and painful situations. The answer has been staring at me all along.

Being impulsive and acting of my own accord, particularly in the spur of the moment, has always been one of my quirks. I always valued this quality until I realised just how damaging it can be. Being notorious for leaping before looking has made me realise that I can easily get knocked by a bus. There are always consequences for our actions.

Though sometimes decisions made in a single moment can be amazing, most of the important decisions require that we think, deliberate and weigh all the options before simply acting out. Although many people make thinking appear a chore, it is fundamental. Being impulsive can only get you into trouble. Speaking what is on your mind without a thought for the consequences can result in not only hurting others but yourself as well. You could unintentionally scare a person off with your intensity of emotions, or with your hurtful words. All this can result in loss on your part, something very hard to get over.

Thinking without speaking can simply be interpreted as a problem in communication. The inability to articulate ones feelings especially in complex situations can result in more problems. I've realised, through various conversations with friends, that pride is a major contributing factor toward our inability to talk about what is on our minds. We are so caught up in our own emotions and so afraid to simply admit that we are wrong, that we will hold all our feelings in instead of sharing them. So we think and think and think some more until we eventually explode and blow something small out of proportion. And so begins the vicious cycle of pain and despair.

Another reason for all this thinking without speaking is that we simply are afraid. We have built up walls and defenses and sharing the thoughts that are breeding like vivacious rabbits in our minds becomes cumbersome. It is easier to just safeguard oneself from pain by simply not sharing the emotions. This, of course, only causes more problems as the person from whom you are withholding said thoughts may be so unsure of their position with you, that they simply walk away.

All these ideas and nuances that make us who we are, are manageable in moderation. The moment we overextend ourselves and let these habits become part of our normal functioning, we just become the cause of our own destruction.

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