Death and All his Friends

Darkness is everywhere. Light is bred in darkness and darkness is bred in light. One cannot survive without the other. Similarly, there is no life without death and no death without life.

Bad things are meant to happen in threes as the old wives tales will tell you. In the space of two weeks death has come to my doorstep twice. I shudder to think that there may be truth in those words and the third isn't too far ahead.

Tissues, tears and sleepless nights have become as normal as buttering ones toast in the morning. Is this healthy? Of course it isn't- when is grief ever healthy? Dealing with the pain and sorrow is the healthiest way to move forward. In times like these we search for companionship. We yearn for a person to while away the sleepless nights with, someone to bring light in the darkness and to put you back together.

Searching for these things while clouded by grief is not the smartest thing to do. More so if you are alone and fragile and constantly being assaulted by old ladies at every wedding and funeral as to when you will be married. This seems to be a customary tradition among the Indian population who look for any opportunity to get free food. If you go out searching for a partner in times of grief it just spells disaster. No matter how much this panel of ladies will badger you, rather grieve alone then look for someone to make you whole.

The concept of death has become so commercialised that the real truth and ugliness behind it can be as shocking as seeing your favourite actress without make up. It can scar you. No amount of reading can prepare you for the emptiness you feel at the onset of losing someone. No amount of chocolate or alcohol could ever truly help you forget it. As much as you may wish to smoke away the pain, there are better options. Or so I am told. I am still out searching for these options so in the meantime pass the joint my way.

It is funny how bad things tend to all clump together. The moment you think you have just put yourself together something else will come along to bring you down to size. It is at moments such as these that it is clear God is out there testing your strength of will. Yet where do you draw all this strength from? Conviction of faith can take you far enough but finding someone with whom to share these feelings with helps as well. And so we are back to the start, to the conflicting statement of not searching for a companion while consumed by grief.

I guess some things are easier said than done. It is easier to pretend slavery does not exist in the chocolate industry than to stop eating chocolate. Just as it is easier to pretend you can keep friendship and emotions apart when searching for companionship while dealing with grief. Eventually the lines become blurry and you are left wondering how simply trying to cope with the pain of loss ended up giving you more sleepless nights than solving the problem.